


The One with the Noise

by hojo



Series: Cool Parents 2k17 [3]
Category: Eyewitness (US TV)
Genre: Awkward Conversations, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-14
Updated: 2017-01-14
Packaged: 2018-09-17 10:36:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9319892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hojo/pseuds/hojo
Summary: The boys are loud. Helen has had enough. Gabe just wants his son to be happy.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Lukas isn't in this fic.
> 
> English is not my first language.

The moment Helen and Gabe tell Philip they need to have a family discussion, he knows something is really wrong. Gabe even pulls out all the stops when he makes breakfast. There’s enough food for at least three more people, and when Philip asks if people are coming over, Helen whispers something to Gabe that makes him shake his head. That only makes Philip even more nervous.

After Gabe put the last plate on the table, Helen finally sits down. Philip looks back and forth between the two, anxious and little scared. He’s been here before. They’re sending him away. They must be. He’s caused enough trouble, more trouble than anybody would stand for. So he waits for someone to say something, to confirm what he already knows. When nothing comes, he leans back in his chair and wraps his ankles around the legs of his chair. And he waits.

Helen takes a huge gulp of her black coffee and then smiles a little stiffly at Philip. “We wanted to talk to you about your room.”

Philip knew Helen never wanted him to take the upstairs bedroom.

“My room?”

“I think-”

“We think,” Gabe corrects.

“Right. We think it's best if you move back downstairs.”

Philip lowers his head and clenches his jaw. He’s not quite out yet, but they’re moving him towards the door. It would hurt a lot less if they just made him leave. Why rip off the bandage slowly?

“Is this because of-of what happened?”

“What? No, Philip, no.” Gabe places his hand on Philip’s shoulder. “This has nothing to do with you.” Helen clears her throat. “Okay, it does, but not in the way you think.”

“What did I do?”

Helen takes another drink of her coffee, doing anything to avoid talking. Gabe slowly moves his hand off of Philip’s shoulder and smiles a little awkwardly. 

“Uh,” Gabe says, rubbing the back of his neck. “Well… you see, um.” And then he abruptly stops talking.

“It’s the noise,” Helen tells Philip bluntly. “You’re too loud.”

“What? Too loud,” Philip repeats. Philip thinks of all the way he's loud and he can't come up with a single thing. He always uses his headphones, he doesn't have a TV in his room, he's more of a texter. “How am I too loud?”

Gabe coughs, choking on some of his potatoes. Helen slaps his back, pressing her lips together.

“With Lukas,” Helen finally answers.

Philip’s eyes nearly bulge out of his head. He looks down at his untouched breakfast, face flaming red. He doesn’t know what to say, what to do. He thinks to run, just to leave, but he knows that won’t end well. They’ll corner him again. And what if next time is worse? So he sits and stares at his cooling food, and wishes for the floor to open up and swallow him whole.

“Hey, hey.” Gabe pats Philip’s hand and makes everything that much more awkward. “Sex is healthy, and we’re not trying to make you feel bad or ashamed. Sex is good. Sex is fun. Very fun,” he smiles at Helen, “with the right person.” Now Helen is just as red as Philip is. “We’re happy that you are, um, happy. And we can tell you’re very,” Gabe pauses, “very happy. I’d be more concerned if we didn’t hear anything coming from the two of you.”

Philip wishes for God, the universe, whoever is out there to stop Gabe from saying another word. But he knows he isn't that lucky.

Helen slaps her hands together. “Okay, well. Let’s get back on track.”

“I’m just saying, Helen, that they already found their grove. Most teenagers can’t be that open with each other until they’re older. It’s a beautiful thing.”

Philip hangs his head a little lower. Sweat beads pop up and trickle down his face. This is not how he saw this conversation going. This is not how he saw any conversation going. He almost wishes they were sending him away.

“You know what’s also beautiful? Not talking about this,” Helen says a little forcefully.

“Would you want him to be unhappy?”

“I would like not to know anything about Lukas. About what he can do, what he does, the thing with his tongue that woke me up at four in the morning.” Helen throws her hands in the air. “And don’t get me started on how loud that boy is about our boy. I don’t want to know any of it. I’m so glad Philip’s happy, but I don’t want to know exactly how happy. And who even says ‘savage’ after they climax?”

Philip slaps his palms on the table, making the silverware and plates rattle. He quickly stands, close to crying out of embarrassment. Have they really been that loud? Helen and Gabe know everything? Every single time Lukas sneaks in? All the times they lied about studying? All of this almost makes him never want to have sex again. Almost.

“Sure! Whatever you guys say… as long as we stop talking about it.”

“Sex, Philip, if you can't say you shouldn't be doing it,” Gabe tells him. Philip opens and shuts his mouth a couple of times, unsure what to say. Gabe starts to laugh. “I had you going there for a minute.”

Philip looks to Helen, who shrugs her shoulders and shakes her head. She looks just as confused as Philip feels.

“Oh, oh my god. So all of this was a joke, or?”

Philip sits back down. Helen and Gabe are the absolute worst. Why would they do this to him? An early April Fools joke? Philip is beyond grateful that they only did this to him. It would have been so much worse if Lukas was asked to attend their family “discussion.”

“Oh no, you and Lukas are loud.”

“I had to buy earplugs,” Helen says, pulling out two orange earplugs out of her pocket.

Philip stands up again, ready to bolt. He doesn’t care what will come later.

“The thing is though… I thought you were an atheist.”

“Gabe,” Helen says in warning.

Gabe tilts his head and smiles, and Helen exhales a deep breath. Philip knows that look, knows both of their looks. Gabe is about to do something and Helen is going to let him. Philip braces for what’s about to come next.

When Gabe doesn't continue, Philip asks, “What?”

“You both talk to God a lot.”

Helen laughs. “There is it.” Gabe holds his hand up for a high-five, which Helen gladly accepts.

Philip is so glad they’re enjoying themselves because he wants to die. 

“Also, we need to buy some oil for that bed of yours,” Gabe tells him.

“I have to go to school!” Philip runs out of the house as fast as he can.

“And Philip?” Helen yells out to Philip, who is halfway to his bike. “And it’s time you start washing your own dirty sheets.”

“This is the best part about being a parent,” Helen says to Gabe. 

“Yeah it is.” Gabe high-fives Helen again.


End file.
